Arithmancy
Perhaps one of the most understated subjects offered at Hogwarts, the study of Arithmancy has continued to support students in understanding themselves in their past, present and future through the study of numbers. While usually quite daunting, numbers and arithmetic have been brought to life under the tutelage of Professor Tanner who has now been teaching the subject at the school for a full five years. It’s fair to say Arithmancy has never been considered to be a popular subject, however, participation in the elective is consistent which is hardly a surprise when its teachings are so valuable to ones own progress in study, work, and in life. Professor Tanner’s approach to studies this term could appeal to all manner of people as it took on the flavour of self discovery; The Narcissists, the Soul-Searchers, the Curious, and the Progressives were all able to reveal a part of themselves they may not have considered before. This is self learning.
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Early in the term everyone was first asked to calculate their Family Name Numbers, which of course reveals the traits and characteristics inherited by particular families by reducing the Pythagorean complex of an individuals surname (family name) to a single digit or master number. From this, thoughts of our family members were evoked and it was interesting to see how that interpretation applied to each member of the family. For some it was like fitting a square block through a circle - not impossible, but it’s important to recognize we are all still individuals and all still very different, even when sharing the same family name. That was the take-home message. The activity gave many the opportunity to share stories about their loved ones, including lessons of experience, odd anecdotes and cherished memories. To practice this skill and to get us moving around in a trend that would soon become known as ‘active learning’ we were asked to calculate the numbers of various Hogwarts professors, including Moxley, Myers and Newton. These exercises led us on a journey through the castle as each Family Name Number represented one of the many floors of the old castle. It started at the tapestry on the fourth floor which led to a visit with Barnabas the Barmy, and lastly a casual stroll by the Weasley Swamp - which was very much the SCENIC route back to the classroom. Some might have called this whole exercise a wild goose chase, but most journeys of self discovery usually are.
This trend of self discovery continued, as did Professor Tanner’s notion of ‘active learning’, only on another occasion instead of roaming the castle searching for the names of Professor’s to calculate, students were under ATTACK! In an interesting twist to lesson dynamics students arrived to a classroom that resembled nothing of its usual form - instead they were confronted with moving obstacles, dense fog, mud pits, raised platforms and much much more. Why? Well that was anyone's guess in the beginning. Disillusioned and on what might have been considered a ‘war path’, Professor Tanner hunted her students in this maze of her creation, casting the Impediment Jinx at every opportunity. There was no victory to be had in this short-lived ten minute escapade, but there was something to be gained by everyone. At the conclusion of the game, during which the number of ‘free’ students dwindled as many of the so called ‘losers’ were recruited to Tanner’s Team, it was revealed that the purpose of the activity was to see how people responded to stressful situations. Because let’s be honest, what could be more stressful than being attacked by your own Professor in an Arena which based on appearance alone clearly spelt D A N G E R? Of course, it also spelt F U N but that’s besides the point. A discussion about he Balance Number soon ensued and everyone was instructed to calculate their Balance Number by reducing the values of the initials of their full name. The interpretation of this was said to reveal some insight into how one might BETTER handle stressful situations, and essentially learn more about themselves.
More interestingly still, the last activity of that session was to calculate the Balance Number of Headmistress Moxley and offer her advice on how to keep her cool. Because let's face it, Hogwarts is known for it's strange and often stressful situations. So what was her response to this unit of work? "I thought hearing from the kiddos about how I can better handle stressful situations was great, especially because so many acknowledged the amazing job I'm doing already! Feedback is always welcome and usually appreciated where the Moxinator is concerned."
This trend of self discovery continued, as did Professor Tanner’s notion of ‘active learning’, only on another occasion instead of roaming the castle searching for the names of Professor’s to calculate, students were under ATTACK! In an interesting twist to lesson dynamics students arrived to a classroom that resembled nothing of its usual form - instead they were confronted with moving obstacles, dense fog, mud pits, raised platforms and much much more. Why? Well that was anyone's guess in the beginning. Disillusioned and on what might have been considered a ‘war path’, Professor Tanner hunted her students in this maze of her creation, casting the Impediment Jinx at every opportunity. There was no victory to be had in this short-lived ten minute escapade, but there was something to be gained by everyone. At the conclusion of the game, during which the number of ‘free’ students dwindled as many of the so called ‘losers’ were recruited to Tanner’s Team, it was revealed that the purpose of the activity was to see how people responded to stressful situations. Because let’s be honest, what could be more stressful than being attacked by your own Professor in an Arena which based on appearance alone clearly spelt D A N G E R? Of course, it also spelt F U N but that’s besides the point. A discussion about he Balance Number soon ensued and everyone was instructed to calculate their Balance Number by reducing the values of the initials of their full name. The interpretation of this was said to reveal some insight into how one might BETTER handle stressful situations, and essentially learn more about themselves.
More interestingly still, the last activity of that session was to calculate the Balance Number of Headmistress Moxley and offer her advice on how to keep her cool. Because let's face it, Hogwarts is known for it's strange and often stressful situations. So what was her response to this unit of work? "I thought hearing from the kiddos about how I can better handle stressful situations was great, especially because so many acknowledged the amazing job I'm doing already! Feedback is always welcome and usually appreciated where the Moxinator is concerned."
Astronomy
One of the longest serving members of the current school staff, Airey Flamsteed, Professor of Astronomy, this term completed his tenth year of teaching at Hogwarts. A loud individual, in almost every sense of the word, Airey Flamsteed’s lessons are often just as dramatic as the man himself. It is clear to even the casual observer that Airey Flamsteed's lessons are frequently touched by that telltale obnoxious flair from the Head of House, as his Gryffindor influence impacts every student who passes through the classroom door of the Astronomy tower, whether they like it or not.
Professor Flamsteed's trademark theatrics were evident to any and all in attendance at the first Astronomy lesson of the term, from the moment they stepped into the classroom. Bitter cold temperatures, occasional miniature tornadoes, a disgusting stench reminiscent of dungbombs, and a lower level of gravity that occasionally sent some of the more exuberant students - such as Gryffindor second year, Char Kettleburn - soaring through the air; these were all conditions that had been adjusted in the classroom to make it purposely uncomfortable, regardless of the 'space blankets' provided for each student. |
Airey Flamsteed, dressed in what one could only deduce to be an entire 'space blanket suit', revealed that the conditions of the classroom had in fact been adjusted to mildly resemble the atmosphere on Mars. Thus, by asking the students how to adjust those conditions for greater personal comfort, the concept of terraforming - transforming an environment to support human life - was introduced. After a brief discussion over the potential terraforming or colonization of Mars, a dispute that has long occupied those with even just a passing interest of the planet, the class activity, a game of 'Space Globials', was soon underway. Using the new gravity conditions, students were to collect as many balls from a large pyramid in the center of the room, and jump up to place them on their own house's designated platform, with intercepting and stealing being perfectly acceptable - the house with the most balls by the end of the time limit would be declared the winner. The 'game' descended into inevitable chaos, with some trying to sneak an extra ball, others attempting to use magic, Gryffindor fifth year Zeke Browne was tackled by several students in the pursuit of victory, and there soon came accusations of attempted hand-holding and public displays of affection. Ultimately, when the time was up, it was Gryffindor who had amassed the most balls, taking first place, followed by Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff, respectively.
In keeping with the term's theme of terraforming in Astronomy, the joint Astronomy/Herbology/Muggle Studies field trip focused on exactly that. In the month of March, the time came for the field trip attendees to don frankly unflattering NASA-style jumpsuit uniforms, take hold of a portkey, and head to the work site. After arriving at what could only be described as an uninhabitable wasteland, the students were put to work essentially terraforming the environment, and make the land healthy once more. The tasks set for this process involved soil analysis, inspecting the soil to ascertain just what was needed to make it fertile again; planting grafted trees; and planting cabbages. By the end of the field trip, the landscape had been vastly transformed from the state it had been in when the Hogwarts staff and students arrived, and another portkey brought everyone back to school again.
Another year gone, and another topic of Astronomy covered through nine months worth of lessons with Airey Flamsteed. Nobody can deny he is a proficient educator, approaching each and every topic with numerous facts and great expertise. The subject of Astronomy is, ultimately, as vast and insurmountable as the universe itself, though perhaps with the quality of knowledge and learning imparted by Airey Flamsteed, even the most simple-minded of you might have a fighting chance of understanding it. Maybe. I doubt it.
In keeping with the term's theme of terraforming in Astronomy, the joint Astronomy/Herbology/Muggle Studies field trip focused on exactly that. In the month of March, the time came for the field trip attendees to don frankly unflattering NASA-style jumpsuit uniforms, take hold of a portkey, and head to the work site. After arriving at what could only be described as an uninhabitable wasteland, the students were put to work essentially terraforming the environment, and make the land healthy once more. The tasks set for this process involved soil analysis, inspecting the soil to ascertain just what was needed to make it fertile again; planting grafted trees; and planting cabbages. By the end of the field trip, the landscape had been vastly transformed from the state it had been in when the Hogwarts staff and students arrived, and another portkey brought everyone back to school again.
Another year gone, and another topic of Astronomy covered through nine months worth of lessons with Airey Flamsteed. Nobody can deny he is a proficient educator, approaching each and every topic with numerous facts and great expertise. The subject of Astronomy is, ultimately, as vast and insurmountable as the universe itself, though perhaps with the quality of knowledge and learning imparted by Airey Flamsteed, even the most simple-minded of you might have a fighting chance of understanding it. Maybe. I doubt it.
Care of Magical Creatures
Professor Draper began the term punctually and on the lake on a rather cold day. The students, who huddled together for warmth and cast heating charms on one another, were tasked to brainstorm about the creatures of the lake, namely flying seahorses. After discussing the creatures habitats, physical attributes, their danger level and one off hand comment about reproduction, Draper told the students they would be fishing. Fishing for seahorses. He was quick to clarify that the fishing was for population control and would not disrupt the lake's habitat. Phew. With a quick review of the seize and pull charm, the students were whipping their wands around and shouting carpe retractum to wrangle some horses....of the lake, that is. Emphasis on try. While some students took to the activity with great success, others fished out seaweed and a stray soggy book. Keep your day jobs, kids. But the lesson wrapped with only a few minor seaweed related injuries (yes, you read that right) and the class as a whole managing to capture a few flying seahorses.
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The next lesson was a triple threat. Professor Draper, Professor Hirsch (DADA) and Professor Ichihara (Transfiguration) pooled together to teach a lesson about DRAGONS. Well, the myth of dragons in muggle culture and the evolution of some animals to transform into dragons and other scholarly things that relate to dragons. BUT STILL, DRAGONS. Well, not really 100% dragons. Moreso echinokarps which are related to mundane carps but, through magical evolution, have gained the ability to transfigure into dangerous SEA DRAGONS! Hirsch informed the class that the only way to defend against a sea dragon is to revert it back into its harmless echinokarp fish form. Ichihara walked the class through the ever helpful spell reverto and the class went to work practicing on large rubber ducks, which apparently is the function of a rubber duck, to practice Transfiguration on. The students split up into their houses and had to revert the rubber ducks, now animated, back into a less harmful form because rubber ducks are scary, apparently. Very scary. At the end of the lesson, though, Ravenclaw walked away victorious.
Draper walked away from the lesson on time, as one would assume from him, and closed out the term strong and in style.
Draper walked away from the lesson on time, as one would assume from him, and closed out the term strong and in style.
Charms
While professors have come and gone, Hogwarts students have not lost their enthusiasm for the always exciting subject of Charms. Stepping up to the position this year was none other than Professor Julien Primeaux, who brought his own unique flair to the subject right from the get go. In spite of his time spent face-to-face (or shall I say face-to-spray paint?) with Peeves’ chaotic presence, Professor Primeaux provided no shortage of valuable lessons this term!
The professor wasted no time before jumping into the heart of Charms at the start of term. Upon entering the empty classroom, students were not met by Professor Primeaux himself, but instead by a recording of his voice providing instructions for the exciting activity that would follow. In a series of rooms full of tasks to complete, students were tested on much more than just their charms knowledge. |
In an effort to combat the disastrous chaos of the Start of Term Food Fight, Professor Primeaux lead students to take a stab at responsible behavior with no professors around for discipline, allowing everyone to practice teamwork as older students aided younger ones in performing locking and unlocking spells. While the teaching style did not appeal to everyone, and Gryffindor Callum Kettleburn even made an attempt at escaping, an impressive level of camaraderie all around, especially in the case of Ravenclaw’s David Truebridge, ensured there was no student left behind. This thought provoking first lesson was just the beginning of a fruitful term full of important lessons learned in Charms that extend far beyond the classroom.
As the rest of the school continued to fall victim to pranks and madness, Charms students had the chance to learn to stand strong against the annoyances of the term. After his own confrontation with Peeves--arguably the most annoying annoyance of the lot--Professor Primeaux imparted wisdom on how to annoy the poltergeist right back. Although the Professor always seemed to be a stickler for respect, it seems that Peeves can bring out the vengeful side in all of us. Students began the lesson with a chance to practice the scouring charm on a set of dummies, but soon enough a real adversary showed itself. Appearing unannounced as poltergeists so often do, Peeves brightened up the lesson all too literally as he splashed buckets of paint all over the students. Finally, with the combined pressure of students working together to banish him, Peeves was successfully pushed out the door. Besides an unfortunate bloody nose on the part of Ravenclaw Haddie Denaker and, of course, a great deal of paint-splattered clothes, students emerged from the lesson unscathed and sporting a sizable victory in the face of Peeves’ constant havoc. Once again, Professor Primeaux instilled us all with truly applicable lessons on top of a true understanding of charms!
As the rest of the school continued to fall victim to pranks and madness, Charms students had the chance to learn to stand strong against the annoyances of the term. After his own confrontation with Peeves--arguably the most annoying annoyance of the lot--Professor Primeaux imparted wisdom on how to annoy the poltergeist right back. Although the Professor always seemed to be a stickler for respect, it seems that Peeves can bring out the vengeful side in all of us. Students began the lesson with a chance to practice the scouring charm on a set of dummies, but soon enough a real adversary showed itself. Appearing unannounced as poltergeists so often do, Peeves brightened up the lesson all too literally as he splashed buckets of paint all over the students. Finally, with the combined pressure of students working together to banish him, Peeves was successfully pushed out the door. Besides an unfortunate bloody nose on the part of Ravenclaw Haddie Denaker and, of course, a great deal of paint-splattered clothes, students emerged from the lesson unscathed and sporting a sizable victory in the face of Peeves’ constant havoc. Once again, Professor Primeaux instilled us all with truly applicable lessons on top of a true understanding of charms!
Defense Against the Dark Arts
The end of last term saw the departure of Sabel Dakest from the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts post, only to be replaced in September with Professor Roderick Hirsch. Hirsh was a major source of distraction this term, garnering inordinate amounts of attention, mostly from female students, due to the what some consider to be the aesthetically pleasing nature of his face. Frequently, students could be found practically drooling at the site of this younger professor - Ravenclaw second year Chloe Newman, for example, who is not nearly as subtle as she thinks she is - and ogling him from afar, though many still held Hirsh to high standards when it came to replacing Sabel Dakest.
In the very first lesson of term, Hirsch confronted the class with a hypothetical situation to test the wits of those assembled. Students were asked just what they would do if, while stranded with no wand, they were attacked by another human. |
How would they use their mind, body, and/or surroundings to evade the danger or defend themselves? The responses offered up covered a great spectrum of ingenuity, resourcefulness, general Gryffindoring, and stupidity. Answers ranged from playing dead or running away, to remaining quiet and perceptive and searching out a weakness, to physically fighting off the attacker with a well-placed kick or two, or using wandless magic. Out of all the possible options, Hirsch focused on the topic of combative fighting: physically fighting off one's attacker sans magic with force and strategy. This strategy included knowing the weak spots, or pressure points on a human opponent: eyes, temple, nose, neck, solar plexus, groin, knee. Next, he set a small army of animated practice dummies loose on the students; though perhaps it would be more accurate to say that the students were being set on the dummies, for it was not long at all before the practice dummies were each beaten into submission. For the main activity, students were to don protective gear, let themselves be captured by the dummies, and then use their knowledge of the pressure points, their wits, and their fists and feet to fight their way out of the grip of their attackers. When the dummies were defeated, and the students well and truly riled up, Hirsch dismissed the class and sent everyone off into the wider castle, to deal with any re-awakened rage on their own time.
Hogwarts is no stranger to joint lessons, and this year was no different. In the case of Defense Against the Dark Arts, Hirsch teamed up with Professors Draper, overseer of Care of Magical Creatures, and Ichihara, of Transfiguration. Together, they delivered a lesson centered around the Dragon's Gate myth, concerning fish turning into dragons in a waterfall on a legendary mountain, soon revealing that the magical creature - the Echinokarp, which occasionally takes the form of a sea-dragon - is actually behind this. But what does this have to do with Defense Against the Dark Arts? The answer lay in the dangerous form of the creatures, which attacks and defends itself by inducing sleep in its target before taking it down, and in how to defend oneself against the Echinokarp, a dangerous creature with an XXXX rating. Hirsch referred back to the first Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson of the term to reiterate that, when defending against something or someone, there is always a weakness to exploit. With the Echinokarp's weakness being its ordinary fish form, the remainder of the lesson was spent learning how to transfigure the creature back into this ordinary and practically harmless state, using the Reverto spell as taught by Ichihara, thereby defending against the piscatorial opponent. Rather than practice on the actual creature, students were required to face a legion of transfigured rubber ducks, teaming up with their housemates and reverting the ducks back to their original state, battling it out against the other houses for house points. By the end of the lesson, it was Ravenclaw who had reverted the most rubber ducks, earning themselves the Grand House Point Prize. The lesson was dismissed and everyone went on their way, most of them secure in the knowledge that, faced with those terrifying and oh-so-dangerous rubber ducks, they could transfigure their way to safety. As for the Echinokarp, they would have to wait to be faced with one to know for sure if they could fight it off. Not suspicious at all, no reason to distrust Hirsch whatsoever (and if you actually believe that, you are an idiot).
With Dakest's departure at the end of last term, many wondered whether or not the Dueling Club would continue. But in the Defense Against the Dark Arts first lesson of term, Hirsch revealed that it would indeed continue in exactly the same format as before. When the first Dueling Club meeting of the term was underway, Hirsch wasted no time in attempting to coax his students into revealing the spell they would be most likely to use in a duel, and why - exactly the actions of someone who cannot be trusted. Most provided exactly the information Hirsch was looking for, while others remained decidedly silent on the matter, and soon the meeting turned to a simple activity all to do with testing reflexes. Simple stuff, but the attention in Dueling Club this year was once again focused predominantly on the tournament. Just as before, students were placed into three groups for dueling (Jinx, Hex, and Curse) and staff members had a group of their own (Unforgivable Curse). Within these groups, they had only to battle it out, one on one, in three duels over the course of the term, to earn their rank in the standings. First place in the Jinx duels, split into years due to the sheer number of younger Dueling Club members, went to Katerina Delgado, Hufflepuff for the first years, Charlotte Kettleburn, Gryffindor for the second years, and Sebastien Toussaint, Slytherin out of the third years. Zeke Browne, fifth year Gryffindor took his first place in the Hex group, securing his second first-place position in as many years, and Dmitriy Toussaint, sixth year Ravenclaw placed first in the Curse duel standings, with Professor Paul Myers securing a win in the Unforgivable Curse dueling group.
There can be no doubt that Defense Against the Dark Arts did not fail to deliver this year, at least in terms of entertainment value. Many would say that Hirsch managed to live up to the high standards he was held to, others will point out that the continued success and increasing turnout of Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons speaks for itself. Some may even argue that such a good-looking face more than exceeds expectations, but I leave you with this: sometimes it is the prettiest faces that belong to the least trustworthy people. Welcome to Hogwarts, Professor Hirsch... if that is your real name.
Hogwarts is no stranger to joint lessons, and this year was no different. In the case of Defense Against the Dark Arts, Hirsch teamed up with Professors Draper, overseer of Care of Magical Creatures, and Ichihara, of Transfiguration. Together, they delivered a lesson centered around the Dragon's Gate myth, concerning fish turning into dragons in a waterfall on a legendary mountain, soon revealing that the magical creature - the Echinokarp, which occasionally takes the form of a sea-dragon - is actually behind this. But what does this have to do with Defense Against the Dark Arts? The answer lay in the dangerous form of the creatures, which attacks and defends itself by inducing sleep in its target before taking it down, and in how to defend oneself against the Echinokarp, a dangerous creature with an XXXX rating. Hirsch referred back to the first Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson of the term to reiterate that, when defending against something or someone, there is always a weakness to exploit. With the Echinokarp's weakness being its ordinary fish form, the remainder of the lesson was spent learning how to transfigure the creature back into this ordinary and practically harmless state, using the Reverto spell as taught by Ichihara, thereby defending against the piscatorial opponent. Rather than practice on the actual creature, students were required to face a legion of transfigured rubber ducks, teaming up with their housemates and reverting the ducks back to their original state, battling it out against the other houses for house points. By the end of the lesson, it was Ravenclaw who had reverted the most rubber ducks, earning themselves the Grand House Point Prize. The lesson was dismissed and everyone went on their way, most of them secure in the knowledge that, faced with those terrifying and oh-so-dangerous rubber ducks, they could transfigure their way to safety. As for the Echinokarp, they would have to wait to be faced with one to know for sure if they could fight it off. Not suspicious at all, no reason to distrust Hirsch whatsoever (and if you actually believe that, you are an idiot).
With Dakest's departure at the end of last term, many wondered whether or not the Dueling Club would continue. But in the Defense Against the Dark Arts first lesson of term, Hirsch revealed that it would indeed continue in exactly the same format as before. When the first Dueling Club meeting of the term was underway, Hirsch wasted no time in attempting to coax his students into revealing the spell they would be most likely to use in a duel, and why - exactly the actions of someone who cannot be trusted. Most provided exactly the information Hirsch was looking for, while others remained decidedly silent on the matter, and soon the meeting turned to a simple activity all to do with testing reflexes. Simple stuff, but the attention in Dueling Club this year was once again focused predominantly on the tournament. Just as before, students were placed into three groups for dueling (Jinx, Hex, and Curse) and staff members had a group of their own (Unforgivable Curse). Within these groups, they had only to battle it out, one on one, in three duels over the course of the term, to earn their rank in the standings. First place in the Jinx duels, split into years due to the sheer number of younger Dueling Club members, went to Katerina Delgado, Hufflepuff for the first years, Charlotte Kettleburn, Gryffindor for the second years, and Sebastien Toussaint, Slytherin out of the third years. Zeke Browne, fifth year Gryffindor took his first place in the Hex group, securing his second first-place position in as many years, and Dmitriy Toussaint, sixth year Ravenclaw placed first in the Curse duel standings, with Professor Paul Myers securing a win in the Unforgivable Curse dueling group.
There can be no doubt that Defense Against the Dark Arts did not fail to deliver this year, at least in terms of entertainment value. Many would say that Hirsch managed to live up to the high standards he was held to, others will point out that the continued success and increasing turnout of Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons speaks for itself. Some may even argue that such a good-looking face more than exceeds expectations, but I leave you with this: sometimes it is the prettiest faces that belong to the least trustworthy people. Welcome to Hogwarts, Professor Hirsch... if that is your real name.
Divination
So, we all know that divination isn't supposed to be anything jaw-jarring or inherently and directly dangerous. A bit of crystal ball staring. Stirring some tea leaves. Falling asleep on comfy couch pillows. Stalking some cats. Nothing too dangerous, outlandish or untold. Nothing to write home about. Right?
Wrong-o! Oh, SO wrong. Due to some rather neglectful (and what could kindly be put as irresponsible) staff screening, students were asked to be boiled and brewed for this year's one and only Divination class. How so? What went so horribly wrong that students literally got to be parsley and basil seasoning? Well, put simply, Hag Black went wrong. She was first known to the student body as a mysterious traveler on the tinder-box Hogwarts Express, spouting death omens and tarot cards like free candy. Then, at the food-fight driven feast, as (Professor) Hag Ursula Black: the less shiny, more scowly replacement to the former Cat Lover Divination Professor. Her charming personality and overtly optimistic demeanor provided opportunity for such candid advice as "Don't let little cute furry things make you feel safe dearie. When you aren't looking is when they will sink their teeth into you." Characteristics which threatened not only the student body's trust of the hiring capabilities of Hogwarts, but which also promised to turn Professor Flamsteed green as a frog. But, it takes all types to make Hogwarts turn round, right?
Apparently that, and a wooden spoon. Literally. Don't believe me? Of course you don't. After all, who in their right mind would have thought that a lesson around a cozy campfire would result in each gathered student being paralyzed by some unidentified mystical smokey substance? Add on a pair of snakes crawling up trousers, two sets of antlers springing from heads and a couple of elongated noses to the mix and you have an Alice in Wonderland Tea Party (sans the tea). As if that wasn't bad enough, Miss Morbid herself decided that instead of properly teaching a lesson on Tarot Cards (which admittedly might have been rather interesting), it would be more memorable to up and plop a student right IN her cooking pot! Right in! No ounce of decorum, last rights or anything! Just up, and IN! This was the unfortunate fate of Mr. Bradson "Brady" Somerhalder. True, perhaps he sort of asked for it with such running commentary as "Cook and eat me all you want woman but I can tell you I'll only taste like sarcasm, death and sadness." The problem? Like salt on French Fries, every single Hogwartian was about to become tooth pickings for some twisted-minded Divination ''Professor''. After all, by Hag Black's own testament "Children stew was the best."
Thank Merlin's dandruff-flaky beard that SOMEHOW Headmistress Moxley, Creatures Professor Draper and Charms Professor Primeaux got down in the nick of time to save the day. Which included NOT catching the old hag and letting her skip off into the forest. Not sure what happened to her or where she went, but she has not been seen in Hogwarts since. When asked about what she had to say about the matter, Headmistress Moxley was rather passionate in her response: "She fooled us, she fooled us all. Luckily you can only fool the Moxinator once. That woman won't be stepping foot on Hogwarts soil again!" On the flip-side, Professor Flamsteed had less forgiving thoughts on his mind: "This term just solidified that the subject is nothing more than pseudoscientific hokum. Pseudoscientific hokum weighed down by self-fulfilling prophecy." After this year's debacle, it would be interesting indeed to hear which side the students and their families sympathize with, hope or hokum.
Thankfully, all students left the campfire with their skin on and no serious injuries. Only emotional trauma and perhaps some prejudice to Divination class, which had started with a simple, innocent enough invite of "Come dearies and sit near the fire. You don't want to catch your death in this cold." Thanks Hag Black, but we didn't quite want to catch it in the cooking pot either.
Proud Hearted Gryffindor Ezekiel Rowan Browne had this to say on the matter: “I knew Divination was all about crazy, but the Hag took it too far. Glad I missed that one.”
Wrong-o! Oh, SO wrong. Due to some rather neglectful (and what could kindly be put as irresponsible) staff screening, students were asked to be boiled and brewed for this year's one and only Divination class. How so? What went so horribly wrong that students literally got to be parsley and basil seasoning? Well, put simply, Hag Black went wrong. She was first known to the student body as a mysterious traveler on the tinder-box Hogwarts Express, spouting death omens and tarot cards like free candy. Then, at the food-fight driven feast, as (Professor) Hag Ursula Black: the less shiny, more scowly replacement to the former Cat Lover Divination Professor. Her charming personality and overtly optimistic demeanor provided opportunity for such candid advice as "Don't let little cute furry things make you feel safe dearie. When you aren't looking is when they will sink their teeth into you." Characteristics which threatened not only the student body's trust of the hiring capabilities of Hogwarts, but which also promised to turn Professor Flamsteed green as a frog. But, it takes all types to make Hogwarts turn round, right?
Apparently that, and a wooden spoon. Literally. Don't believe me? Of course you don't. After all, who in their right mind would have thought that a lesson around a cozy campfire would result in each gathered student being paralyzed by some unidentified mystical smokey substance? Add on a pair of snakes crawling up trousers, two sets of antlers springing from heads and a couple of elongated noses to the mix and you have an Alice in Wonderland Tea Party (sans the tea). As if that wasn't bad enough, Miss Morbid herself decided that instead of properly teaching a lesson on Tarot Cards (which admittedly might have been rather interesting), it would be more memorable to up and plop a student right IN her cooking pot! Right in! No ounce of decorum, last rights or anything! Just up, and IN! This was the unfortunate fate of Mr. Bradson "Brady" Somerhalder. True, perhaps he sort of asked for it with such running commentary as "Cook and eat me all you want woman but I can tell you I'll only taste like sarcasm, death and sadness." The problem? Like salt on French Fries, every single Hogwartian was about to become tooth pickings for some twisted-minded Divination ''Professor''. After all, by Hag Black's own testament "Children stew was the best."
Thank Merlin's dandruff-flaky beard that SOMEHOW Headmistress Moxley, Creatures Professor Draper and Charms Professor Primeaux got down in the nick of time to save the day. Which included NOT catching the old hag and letting her skip off into the forest. Not sure what happened to her or where she went, but she has not been seen in Hogwarts since. When asked about what she had to say about the matter, Headmistress Moxley was rather passionate in her response: "She fooled us, she fooled us all. Luckily you can only fool the Moxinator once. That woman won't be stepping foot on Hogwarts soil again!" On the flip-side, Professor Flamsteed had less forgiving thoughts on his mind: "This term just solidified that the subject is nothing more than pseudoscientific hokum. Pseudoscientific hokum weighed down by self-fulfilling prophecy." After this year's debacle, it would be interesting indeed to hear which side the students and their families sympathize with, hope or hokum.
Thankfully, all students left the campfire with their skin on and no serious injuries. Only emotional trauma and perhaps some prejudice to Divination class, which had started with a simple, innocent enough invite of "Come dearies and sit near the fire. You don't want to catch your death in this cold." Thanks Hag Black, but we didn't quite want to catch it in the cooking pot either.
Proud Hearted Gryffindor Ezekiel Rowan Browne had this to say on the matter: “I knew Divination was all about crazy, but the Hag took it too far. Glad I missed that one.”